you didn't though. consider yourself a failure.
2. Do this everyday for a week without fail.
3. Tag 8 of your friends to do the same.
I don't have eight friends and I wouldn't tag them anyway.
Today: my landlord took me for a Christmas dinner today at a tapas bar and we had a whole bottle of wine and the food was awesome. Not only that, but the wine, which I now know the name of; "El Coto, Rioja, Crianza" is the one we used to buy in bulk for parties last year and I had forgotten the name of it even though its one of my favourites.
(i have a favourite red wine. i'm sure i was going to shoot myself if i ever got this old)
1.) done 4 hours work of 15,000 word dissertation, first chapter due in 2 weeks ago.
2.) written 9000 words on three seperate essays.
3.) learnt waggling ears.
4.) achieved highest possible score on survivor challenge desktop tower defense: 9998 (without cheating).
5.) learnt hand gesture with click sound to accompany the gangsta 'booyah'.
6.) was homeless.
8.) gave an essay in 8 days late.
9.) received grades varying between 75% and 7%.
10.) did some interesting drugs for the first time (paracetemol).
11.) read at least 40 books.
12.) met two people who'd done time for gbh.
13.) confirmed truth of stephen fry's prison slang annecdote
14.) consumed at least: 50 bottles of beer/ale, 2 bottles of bali
15.) smoked about 450 fags
16.) embarassed myself hideously about 5 times (none of them when i was drunk *facedesk*).
17.) spent at least 1000 hours on a computer.
18.) done laundry twice.
19.) bought four records (but couldnt find any captain beefhart).
20.) lit a lot of fires
21.) mended a printer.
22.) broke a brand new hickory axe with my awesome strength.
23.) joined mature/postgrad students room despite being neither mature nor postgrad.
24.) washed my hair less than 20 times.
25.) developed love of cheese.
I should explain, current TV is like an I.V. drip of internets bombarding your brain at the rate of advertising.
When metal tools were first created people made stone ones less efficient so they were more similar to the metal style. When T.V was invented, people started writing books with all the personality of an episode of Friends, we who could read found ourselves minus Rachel's stupid hair, voice, face and babydaddy but plus characters so insipid they could have been written by Stephen King
... oh wait.
But to get to the point, having proved the ridiculous nature of devolving culture,
"internets, on my T.V? Get the fuck out." you might say. But Nay! This is wrong, for truly, now I can mainline precious intarwebs while using my laptop to surf the internet for porns and wiki and amvs, listening with a single earphone to podcasts during the adverts and creating hideous feedback loops by commenting on current T.V.'s website which they read out (with a robot voice! a lady one!)
I love it, I think. That might just be the cocaine speaking. (THIS IS A JOKE)
but the point.. oh right. england needs an extreme sport, lets make one up.
Blind dates are wrong, but blind dates between blind people? Where do they fall on the bad/good scale?
How would you do the reveal, lend them Geordie's eyeband thingie? Oh darling, your infra-red spectrum is just Fabulous!
Hilariously wrong. What else is there to say?
(except this. this is awesome.)
this part is super long so i've cut it into two (again!). please nitpick and point out mistakes and such. i know the flow of it is way off so if you have any tips to help those'd be good. Bits in red are bits I'm not sure about. I especially want your opinion on those.
disclaimer stuff / title